Popular

From the time one can remember we want to fit in. Fit in with the world and others by how we look and who we are. We want to be popular, the hero, the cool one, the right one, the one always in control, the pretty one, etc. Why?? Why do we put such pressure on ourselves? Accepting ourselves and being popular with ourselves should only be what matters right? I guess all who enter our lives, things that happen in our lives, the people who stay and the ones who go, are all what shape us and make us who we are and who we become. It is what makes us grow. It still happens when your older and 44 like me! ;)

Through the years I have become more comfortable in my own skin but it will forever be something I continue to work on personally. Being a Mom I still want to be the cool one, the right one, the one always in control, etc. You learn quickly you are not. Saying no makes you very unpopular and its hard! Trusting, letting go, and stepping back are all something we have to balance and wonder with each day and situation if that is what we need to do. Is this a time they need me even though they are pushing me away? Should I say yes? Should I say no? Even though I am not with them are they making the right decisions? Are they safe? Do they know I love them even though we fight? I do love them and I do care more then I ever imagined one could ever care for another!! I am learning as I go and failing at times. I am picking myself up when I fall hopefully stronger and better. God gave Moms intuition and that "gut feeling" to follow and sometimes we say yes, sometimes we say no. Sometime we are popular with them and sometimes not so much. Sometimes the days involve nothing but no, no, and no. UGH!!! It is so hard sometimes. I'll keep trying and picking myself up when I fall! The impression I make on their hearts I know will be a real one!! Good and bad but real no doubt and it's because I love them more then I ever could say!!!